Manhood
Modeling
The younger men you serve should find in you an example of what a man is and does. I don’t say “godly man”, because a man who isn’t godly isn’t a man, he’s just a male.
A man understands what his responsibilities are and to whom he owes them. He knows who has authority over him and he submits to those authorities. He knows whom he has authority over, and he uses his authority to provide, protect and lead them in order that they might flourish before their God. A man knows where he is weak, and is actively working to be a better man. A man establishes plans for meeting all of his responsibilities. A man works his plans and evolves his plans as circumstances change.
One implication of this is that the mentoring being described here cannot be applied to the lost. A lost young male does not know God and so he cannot know himself. He does not submit to Christ, and so he does not understand his responsibilities, nor is he empowered by the Spirit to live those responsibilities. He is dead and enslaved to sin. He is not a man. Until he comes to saving faith in and submission to Jesus, it would be a mistake to treat him as a man.
Calling to
When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.1
Manhood begins at salvation
The younger men you serve need to be told that they are men and called to live as men.
Ideally, their dads will do this. Their dads should be modeling manhood and discussing what it means to be a man as their sons grow. Then, when they see that their sons are ready, they should organize a trip or event or ceremony in which they declare their sons to be men, and call them to live as the men they have been taught to be. This moment should not just be words, but should change how the son sees himself and how he is seen and treated by his dad. To the extent that the dads permit you, encourage them to do this with their sons. And help prepare the sons. If the dad does do something, affirm in your guy the changed state. Treat him as a man and expect those around you to do the same.
If the dad won’t do something and won’t let you discuss it with him, prepare a ceremony of some sort yourself. It’s important. Even if the younger man is old enough and mature enough that he has been a man for a while, make a point of setting aside a time to affirm to him that he is a man, that you have seen x, y and z specific manly qualities in him, and then call him to continue live and grow as a man.
1 Corinthians 13:11↩︎